Yet sometimes... !

Yet sometimes I feel I am not able to face crunch times... and here stands one... right in my face and I am to face it regardless of I can or can not… !

Being in the states was so easy till today that I have almost forgotten pushing things at the moment… it doesn’t mean I didn’t not face time pressures through these couple years… I did… extreme time pressures at times… had to make decisions of my (Masters’) lifetime in 80 odd minutes and I surely survived it… but it had a purpose… purpose to survive… I knew things were going to be relatively simple once I made my decisions… now is as different case… things are so vague even in almost immediate future that I am finding it thoroughly difficult to face these crunches… And I keep on wondering if things are really difficult by themselves or is it rather Me who’s crafting pressures upon myself in view of simple things viewed complicated… !!

I don’t remember feeling the same way till today… But somehow I know I have to get through these as I did in the past… Somehow feel I did have a similar feeling… I once read somewhere that you don’t remember your barbed past once you cross the fence… because your past never looks difficult to you compared to the future… that’s a difference between challenges lying ahead and goals fulfilled in the past. 10th Std Board exams never feel difficult when you appear for 12th Std Board exams and 12th Std exams are undemanding immeasurably when AppMech is faced… that’s the beauty of life… At every step of that beauty, you face a wall that’s thorny from the approach and facile after negotiating over… And I hope it the same approach’s view that I am seeing now… I should have been tattooing on my shoulders the feelings that I had when I faced walls from the past as _______ does in _______ .

Wish I had some way to convince myself that the feeling is nothing but life that I have lived along that lead me to where I am… Wish I had some way to convince myself that I can do it and when I do, it all starts looking wonderful as my past is… !!!